The Earthquake

Slowly, rumbling from over your shoulder,

Suddenly, without warning, your face bright,

Mortar and rusted girders trim the light;

The brick ruins of before now smoulder.

Feeling your way out the dusted darkness,

Impossible to take stock now that it’s gone.

Unknown, uneven surfaces feel wrong

Under hesitant feet; cosmic redress.

As dawn climbs back over the horizon,

Scrambling over previously smashed dreams,

Hope stacked in your chest by recovery teams.

Yesterday’s successes: never undone.

Natural flows and regular tremors,

Mere pauses to the living’s endeavours.

A Choir of Equals

Radio screams,

Breaking through our dreams;

Sitting at my laptop,

Wishing for our perfect backdrop.

Knowing that you’re both home –

Safe and sound –

Won’t be a few weeks until you’re back around;

Tracking your movements like a bloodhound.

Wheels carve through rattling tarmac

Getting grief and giving flack;

Always too late for us to backtrack.

But never had a job that you can’t hack.

We’re not sure how we’ll spend next time,

Could just shoot the shit – get high.

Never such a thing as the perfect crime;

Wander back home when the time is nigh.

The gang is going to be here too,

So bring your A-game,

Don’t look so blue.

It’s true – 

We don’t know what you’re going through.

Wasting my time, am I?

Jotting down bars that won’t fly.

This ain’t me

But I don’t know what to do.

Writing about those I love

Is what I know will shine through.

Get back here in our garden,

Daffodils will grow

Over the weeds by then.

Put some shrimp on that barbie,

Burn those papers

So no one will chase us.

The six of us, or even seven, or eight,

Don’t let us stand in the way

If you bring a new mate.

Let’s just gather around that fire,

Singing happy songs –

A country boy choir.

Love to my guys,

wherever we’ve spread.

No one cries,

When everyone is dead.

Breaking news: retirement from Football Manager

I can’t deal with it anymore. I have invested so much time (and money) into that game series. In the early days (2005-ish), interactive management was breezy and I could mastermind myself to European silverware, top titles and everything below. It’s safe to say that I can’t achieve the level I demand of myself, and I can no longer enjoy the game as I wish to. It is time for me to gratefully walk away from the FM series. Maybe I’ll get into FIFA or some dumbed-down management game I can actually win at least a few games at. The constant defeats in every save have led me to the obvious conclusion that I am terrible at it.

Christ. What a waste of time that all was. The last three or four years, I don’t think I enjoyed at all.

Questions on the possible identities of Heidegger’s “Dasein”

A good question from as early as possible is, “what is Dasein?” 

Human being? Philosopher? Superhuman? Conscious non-human animal? God? Demigod? Heidegger himself? 

I’m sure there could be arguments for each. But the important question is what Heidegger considers Dasein to be. The implications of this could be one of the fundamental signposts for Being and Time, no less because this is how Heidegger believes he will be able to dissect the phenomena available for us to apprehend Being. Being is completely unknown to us, and only accessible via such phenomena, to the subjective Dasein. 

I’m late to the Being and Time party. I’ve started reading it, and Dasein already makes me question certain things, no doubt apprehending certain premises we may fall upon as we work through it. 

Who is Dasein? Who has the capacity to be Dasein? Is Dasein effective at discovering Being, and is Being even an option to be discovered for it? And is Dasein the only way to discover what Being is? 

I wonder if Dasein should be this excited to understand and read more about a book like Being and Time? 

Finding Time (poem)

I wrote a poem on the concept of time I personally have felt in relation to this current crisis. I hope you like it:

I have a job interview on Thursday,

Not really feeling it. Sometimes

I want to just go on like this.

The Corona-hellscape, you know,

The one where we have time together,

Time to cook properly,

Time to walk peacefully,

Time to get away from the stress

Which we’re placed under every day,

In cars on the motorway, or even

Sat in boardrooms.

I will miss this time together

For the time we all shared.

It’s sad that time gained for me

Is time lost for some, and I know

That time is hard on some

Who perhaps have little to fill it,

And I don’t have an answer for that.

I just think of myself

And the time I have unearthed.

Finding Time

Time is something which I have come to appreciate much more since this crisis began. There are a few reasons for this, but I can’t help but think a lot of it is losing my job and having something of a safety net to accommodate my time not working. I’ve read a lot and tried to understand new things, things which I think are integral to my own personal nature. I feel designed to be free and flexible and I honestly think my previous lifestyle (not necessarily of my own free choice) was complimentary to my nature.

I’m also conscious that whilst this has been a fruitful time for me, sadly, others have lost lives and the lives of their loved ones. I don’t necessarily want to equate this with survivor’s guilt, but it shows a complexity in my own mind. Am I selfish for enjoying lockdown? I don’t think so, but perhaps, in a utilitarian sense, we need to bear in mind the reasons for it, and thus respect it more so.